|Posted by Cobaltsoul on June 18, 2010 at 10:51 AM|
The older I get the less patience I have with cynical attitudes and cynicism in general.
I have even less patience when people are cynical about me or my motives. There is a handful of people who know me well enough to challenge my actions or motives based on knowledge and insight. Anyone else who cops a cynical stance towards me is more than likely projecting their own shit rather than perceiving mine.
Cynicism being the world view that starts with the assumption that people's motives are always base and selfish.
It's a lazy stance to take.
It's lazy because it's rarely based on reasoning or deep philosophical engagement. Most modern cynics are simply emotionally bruised or tired and rather than dealing with THAT, they adopt a brittle shell of pessimism which is supposed to protect them from emotional investments that might get them further bruised.
It can be costly to believe in people.
In any arena high expectation are always going to be disappointed sometimes.
That does not invalidate the high expectations.
Expecting goodness from people is a sure way to encounter disappointments.
People will disappoint us.
That can hurt, and deeply.
The lazy response is to get cynical.
To turn the disappointments into the only truth we feel, the only truth we allow.
The cynics inevitably sneer at the people who do not share their stance.
They adopt a superior attitude..."I'm the mature and wise one here, you all are naive and blinded by your wishful thinking...". As if puffing out your chest, big noting yourself, makes your cynical stance something different from a lazy self protection strategy.
Except for those very rare occasions when the person who disappoints us actually kills us, other people's human frailty is not going to kill us.
Yes, it hurts.
Sometimes a little bit.
Just as our human frailty is, from time to time, going to cause small and great hurts to other people.
Some people are selfish.
Some people are even malicious.
Such sad souls are a minority.
Most of us are simply frail and fumbling and falling far short of our aspirations and our self image.
If you're an athlete and in competition you get physically hurt. You don't curl up and say, "You're all horrible I'm not playing any more." You take the hit, you take a deep breath, you accept it's going to happen again at some point then you get on with what matters.
If you're a student or an academic and one of your hard sweated over papers gets easily dismissed by your peers or marked as mediocre by your lecturer, you don't burn all your books and stop thinking for the rest of your life. You wince, you have a grump for an hour or a day then you go back, read your work again, work out how to do better and get back to doing what really matters.
The athlete who stops because it hurts is no longer an athlete.
The academic who stops because it hurts is no longer an academic.
The human who stops because it hurts.........