|Posted by Cobaltsoul on October 19, 2010 at 9:08 AM|
I've been on a few internet dating sites over the last ten years, without long term success, but that's another post. This post is about something I find entirely inexplicable except for sheer laziness.
Here you are, a bloke joining a dating site. Your goal is to attract the attention of women as your first step toward actually meeting at least one nice woman. All the sites tell you that profiles with photos get massively more visits than profiles with no photo.
Now that fact is not hard to understand. In the flesh and blood dating world the visual meeting is the first thing that happens. You see someone and you like what you see, or at least, don't dislike it and then they build on that visual neutrality with good personality or whatever. You see them at the pub or the club, you seem them at a party or a bbq, you see them at work, at your friends house, at university, whatever. But SEEING is the first thing that happens. Fair enough that most of us when internet dating also want to SEE a person before deciding to introduce ourselves.
So, this guy has been told that putting some photos on his profile would be a good idea. So what does he do? He finds his best photos, the ones he looks sharp in, the ones he looks dignified or respectably casual in. The one's with his best smile. Yeah? No!
This is what stuns me, the photos men put on their profiles, as if they are actually doing their best to scare women away. Photos where the guy is scowling or unshaven or holding a beer can on his beer belly or all three factors at once. Photos of him with his arm around another woman, her cut out, but her arms still plainly visible, so I have not been single long enough to have even one photo of myself without my ex in it. Photos of guys who's profiles says they are 60 and who's photos are bw and clearly 40 years old. Photos of guys that were clearly taken on the webcam without thought, planning or care. At least when the women share webcam photos they make an effort, usually, to try different poses, put on nice clothes, something that says, "it matters how I look."
All these guys posting these lazy, stupid, negative images of themselves... what ARE they thinking?