|Posted by Cobaltsoul on January 24, 2011 at 9:28 PM|
The end of your last year at school provides a striking example of damaging false thinking. The false idea is the one that says your entire future depends on what university you get into.
What a load of bollocks.
The false idea is even more stupid than that first formulation. Working back from which uni you get into the all or nothing lie appears when students are choosing the subjects they will study years before their last year. Students are told that they need to pick "the right" subjects in their early teens so they can get into the right streams and get the right marks and get into the right university and get the right career and that if they get it wrong some massive life tragedy will ensue.
What a load of rancid bollocks.
When it comes to education paths and career paths there are multiple routes to the same destinations. Assuming that most fourteen year olds can actually know where they want to be in twenty years time still does not mean any decision they make at fourteen will absolutely rule out any destination they ultimately want to reach.
You can get accepted to a "lesser" university, go, excell and use that excellence to shoe horn your way into "better" universities. You can excell at the "lesser" university and enter the career stream you desire and THEN use your excellence to move toward the ultimate career goal you started with. You can skip university initially, get straight into the work area you want to be in and then use your work experience to gain admission to the university of your choice. Multiple paths. It's not all or nothing.
I've illustrated it with the student education path but the general principle is the same, in most things in life there are multiple paths to get us there. Not everything, but most things.
The all or nothing lie puts false pressure on people at decision points. The lie makes us think the decision we are making is between utopia and misery. That false perspective makes each decision a burden when it need not be so. It also creates a false expectation in us, that THIS decision is the one that will ensure our life long happiness. When this decision does not ensure our happiness we feel life has cheated us. Life has not cheated us, we have a false idea and false expectations.
There surely are a few decisions we could make that DO have a truly monumental impact on everything that comes after that decision AND which are irreversible decisions. But those quality of decisions are rare.
Most of our decisions are not all or nothing.
Most of our decisions can be unmade or remade with subsequent choices.
Life is complex and there are multiple paths to the same destinations.
If you are a parent, please don't burden your children with the all or nothing lie.
If you are an adult then you are now parent to yourself, don't burden yourself with the all or nothing lie.
In our lives, in the search for fulfillment and happiness
We have more chances than we think.